May 13, 2006

• My epiphany about relationships…i had it in my car while i was
  sitting there waiting for triple A.  I stood up on  my car
  and flagged down this poor guy named nigel who was happily and
  peacefully walking to the elevator -minding his own business-and asked
  for his assistance.. this is what happens when ur a nice guy. you get
  stuck waiting with me.. for about three hours.. for stupid triple A to
  come.. YAy for gentlemen though

  Healthy Relationships should include:

  • Trust and support
  • Honesty
  • Respect
  • Shared responsibility
  • Equality
  • Always feeling safe
  • Comfort
  • Mutual Growth
  • Happiness

  and the feeling that something deep inside you says this is right,
  there should be no little voice that says.. something isn’t right.. but
  i’m just going to ignore it.. that’s the biggest sign that really its
  not meant to be.  When two people who upon separation as in two
  different rooms really want to be together, and you think about each
  other like all the time and willing to sacrifice yes.. sacrifice is
  necessary in a relationship.. maybe not a lot of sacrifice.. nothing
  drastic.. like stop talking to all ur guy/ girl friends and just me me
  me… but like little things like. maybe turning off the basketball
  game to spend time with the girl or instead of going shopping.. go
  workout with the guy.. little things.. they may not be that big of a
  sacrifice but.. in the end these add up

  so many people i know are in relationships.. guy friends… girl
  friends… everyone and their mommas seem to be in relationships. 
  As good as relationships are.. there are so many pitfalls and big red
  signs taht say.. maybe you shouldn’t be in that relationship cuz hmm
  you can do better?

  1).  Your parents/family/friends 
  hate them then whats the point… family and friends are so important
  if you see anything happening in the future either ur sig. other will
  have to suck up majorly to your family/ friends or its just not
  happening.. you really need their support in this.  Family most of
  all….theyre the ones who shaped you- whether you realize it or not -
  into who you are.. if they don’t approve its becasue they can see past
  your blindness and biasedness.. heed them
  2).  Theyre invading your privacy.
  Doesn’t that mean that they don’t trust you? Trust is what a
  relationship is based on.. if there’s no trust then … what can you
  build up from?  If they don’t trust you or can’t.. then dump
  them.. unless.. they make an effort to change… and yes.. change is
  necessary.. no two people are perfect for each other we can get pretty
  close matches.. and through change and sacrifice can we get closer to
  being each other’s ideal match.
  3).  Seriously. you have to be friends first..
  how else can you have fun around each other .. cuz let’s face it we
  won’t be young and blooming forever.. and some of us can only hope to
  age gracefully… when the passion and beauty die what are you going to
  fall back on? friendship! sooo ifyou want something to last.. get to
  know each other first.. don’t rush into things.. i learned the hard
  way. that you really can’t throw a bunch of things into mixing bowl and
  hope that a cake comes out.. the same goes for a relationship.. DON’T
  RUSH INTO THINGS seriously.. DON’T we’re young take it slow..
  everything will be so much better you can learn to trust each other,
  you can find out each other’s weaknesses/ strengths to build them up or
  learn from them.  A relationship is a growing process if there’s
  no growth then there’s no relationship. I mean come on.. we all love
  cuddling whether it be with a boyfriend, a cat, a pledge sister (
  muahahah lorraine) , orrr your very faithful body pillow. Everyone
  says… we’ll all end up just renting movies, eating ,and then
  sleeping.  How to avoid that? well its simple.. don’t do it..
  instead of napping.. just don’t.. go for a walk.. its so much fun!walk
  a dog together! i personally love huskies =) theyre so gorgeous. 
  Or go jogging.. its way fun! work out together.. seriously… like..
  don’t get all self conscious.. he’ll be sweaty and gross too so he
  can’t say antyhing.. besides.. u konw a guy really likes you if he
  thinks ur even more gorgeous with no makeup and sweat dripping down ur
  face like a pig.  That’s a compliment i wouldn’t throw back in a
  guy’s face =)
  4).  You really have to have fun with them no matter what.. i
  realized lately… maybe a little too late that there’s more to initial
  attraction- you really shouldn’t act on initial attraction.. yeah they
  may be pretty but .. they also may be hollow.. or they might hit on
  everygirl.. like a manwhore.. orr they might just be insecure, or they
  might cheat on you in the future.. (attention whores are ususally the
  ones you need to be careful for), or they might scar you for life
  forever and ever and you could never trust them again,  you don’t
  know these things about the other person when you first meet. 
  Common interests are good aka. Snowboarding, watching disney movies,
  garage sales hehe, strawberries, abercrombie, skateboarding, wanting to
  surf, chinese backgrounds, jamba juice flavors, religion, mustang
  convertibles.  oh yeah … an even tempered person is TOTALLY A
  PLUS find one that doesn’t read into everything… ask a million
  questions… get ridiculously jealous…  looks through your stuff
  … argues with you constantly … or simply bores you to death but
  you’re just too nice to say it.. so you think by being there more often
  will fix things..but it really doesn’t. If its not meant to be then its
  not… do’nt force it.. if its meant to be then you’ll end up together
  in the future.

  The best and utmost thing is being able to communicate, laugh about
  everything, have fun  doing EVERYTHING  together.. calling
  each other names…drawing faces out of boba, having boba wars… if
  you can find joy out of anything when you’re with someone that’s how
  the butterfly feelings last.

  i’m sure many have heard about this.. but for girls there are two
  ladders.. the potential ladder and the friendship ladder.. after
  talking to kevin kuo about this i gleaned that potentials can cross
  over to the friend ladder and the friends can also cross over to the
  potential ladder.  Potentials always fuck things up by being WAY
  TOO FORWARD and getting turned down.. whereupon.. theyre not even on a
  ladder anymore.  theyre just .. down in the jumbles of have beens
  and that’s sad because if they waited long enough or shown enough
  persistence and faithfulness the girl really she’s not blind. .is bound
  to notice and pay more attention to you.  However, if a guy did
  already fuck things up he has a chance in the girl book of rules that
  with enough groveling and apologizing he will get himself back on the
  friend ladder.. but that’s about it.  Screwups ususally include
  being too forward physically like trying to hold her hand or putting
  your arm around her then she’ll just not want to be around you, asking
  her out (now she has to turn you down… AWKWARD), and worst of all
  trying to kiss her. oh god.. why would you do such a thing..
  seriously.. why ?why ?why?  i don t get it…if she’s intersted..
  she’ll let you know.. really .. she will.. if she doens’t think its
  time yet then don’t pressure her. If you two are dancing and you lean
  closer and the girl sees you trying to kiss her and she does some weird
  thing where all of a sudden all her hair is in her face now.. take the
  hint… she’s not trying to seduce you with a crazy new dance move..
  she’s just hiding now. and buddy you got 10 seconds to back off..

  and if all in all you’re happy without a title then by all means don’t
  get a title.. title’s aren’t the greatest if you’re ocmpletely happy
  without one.. like.. completely .. then cool! good for you!
  expectations and everytyhing seems to get messed up once a title comes
  along with a relationship. . .  Timing is also key.. something
  that may not work now.. because of certain circumstances may work
  later. Some people beleive in this.. i don’t know. .i think… it all
  has to do with how much a person has learned and grown from the
  experience

  EVeryone learns from relationsihp.. just take what you’ve learned and
  apply it.. but don’t become jaded by it that your whole being is
  infused with suspicion.. its not fair to the new gf/ bf.  Keep an
  open mind, and see them and appreciate them for who and what they
  are.  Beauty comes in so many forms… learn to look past the
  superficial and fleeting  by focusing instead on the perfection of
  a being soul. 

  • 10:31 pm
  • 4 Comments